Horsham: 13th February 2025
The origins of Saint Valentines Day are somewhat unclear. There are at least three Saint Valentines, all of whom were martyred. At least two of them have a back story which in some way hints at romance (the third Valentine lived in 3rd Century Africa but apart from his martyrdom, nothing more is known about him). Perhaps my favourite story relates to one of these Valentines, a priest who was arrested by Emperor Claudius Gothicus (who ruled from 268 – 270), for helping other Christians who were facing persecution. According to legend, just before his execution, he sent a note to his gaoler’s daughter for whom he felt some affection. His note was simply signed ‘Your Valentine’.
I sent my first Valentines Card to a girl in my class at school who I really liked when I was about twelve years old. It was probably one of the most terrifying things I have ever done. Actually buying the card was terrifying enough, but the act of delivering it was even worse. My heart racing, I grabbed the opportunity to drop the card unnoticed into her schoolbag before lessons started whilst she was talking to her friends on the other side of the classroom. I had no idea what was supposed to happen next. Following convention, I had written her name in the card but signed it simply as ‘Your Valentine’. I still remember a sense of disappointment, tinged by a degree of relief, when she opened the card and told her friends that it had come from another boy in my class called Gary White. I’m not sure how Gary felt about it, but I never owned up. In the unlikely event that she remembers that moment, I guess that she probably still believes that Gary White was her first Valentine!
I’ve occasionally wondered what was in my mind when I decided to send that card to a classmate when I was 12 years old. I think in my heart, that Valentines card meant ‘I like you’, and ‘I want to be your friend.’
To the best of my recollection, apart from my 12 year old classmate, I’ve only ever sent a Valentine to one other person. She’s someone else I went to school with and I fell in love with her nearly fifty years ago. I’ve been married to her for quite a long time. She will receive a card from me again this year. It will probably be signed ‘Your Valentine’. I’m feeling pretty confident – to the best of my knowledge, my wife has never even heard of Gary White.
I’ve been nothing if not consistent since I was 12 years old. I’ve only ever sent a Valentines card to someone I want to be my friend. I’ve only ever sent a Valentine to someone I like.
‘(She) is my beloved, (she) is my friend.’ (Song of Songs 5:16 (NIV))