Dementia. A Reflection
Russell, NZ: 10th March 2026
A long time ago, it became clear that my mother was unwell. At first, it was unclear what was going on. She just wasn’t herself. She was anxious and forgetful, but she had recently lost her husband and stress can cause that. She would say odd things. Her conversational ‘filter’ would occasionally slip. She had a tendency to make contradictory statements, and there was a degree of paranoia which would sometimes undermine her thinking and her decision making.
She developed a tendency to become disorientated. There were occasional problems with her speech – moments of silence as she searched for a word. She had a tendency to misunderstand situations and make poor decisions. She began to lose concentration and would set off to meet someone and then forget where she was going and why. Yet when challenged, by me and by her doctor, she could appear to be completely rational and in control.
Then she had a series of minor traffic accidents. One afternoon, whilst visiting friends, she caused considerable damage to someone else’s car (and her own) and simply walked away, apparently unaware of any responsibility for what she had done. This was a serious development. It was time to have the conversation.
In the wrong hands, a car is a potentially lethal weapon. I had to tell my mother to stop driving. I had to take away the keys, and take away the car. My Mum was angry. She was very upset. She was resistant. She couldn’t see the problem. Her ability to see and manage the risks of her own actions was diminished to the point that intervention was necessary. I did it for her own safety, and for the sake of innocent people who might be injured or worse because of her diminished judgment. To let her continue having control of a lethal weapon would have been unkind to her and put lives at risk.
Shortly after, she was formally diagnosed with dementia. Her condition had been developing over a number of years in plain sight, and was now unmissable. Now, many years later, aged 95, my mother is in full time care in a secure residential facility.
Risk of Inaction
Dementia is an awful disease. Most people who are on the path will deny their diagnosis and be resistant to controls being placed on their behaviour. Unchecked, their behaviour can be extremely problematic and even harmful to themselves and to others. Turning a blind eye to someone suffering from this dreadful disease is unhelpful and dangerous. Inaction carries serious risks. Sometimes, for the good of the individual, and for others around them, especially the vulnerable, others have to step in. Uncomfortable decisions need to be made.
Apropos nothing, I understand that the 25th Amendment of the US Constitution allows for the removal of a President if, in the view of two thirds majority of both Congress and the Senate, he is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office.
Wake up America. Before someone innocent gets hurt.